危机 = 我的不安 = 失眠 = 想太多 = 历史重演的恐惧感 。

我甘愿 ，
你告诉我他是谁 ，
长什么样子 ，
让我知道 ，
好过 ，
你告诉我 ，
你们只是朋友 。。。。。

你的一个突如其来的问题 ，
在我的思绪上产生了 ~ 危机 ~ ，
它造成了~ 我的不安 ~ ，
使我 ~ 失眠 ~ ，
让我 ~ 想太多 ~ ，
因为我已患上对 ~ 历史重演的恐惧 ~ 。。。。。

我将会很忙 ，
尤其是我的八位好朋友去了英国之后，
我相信你，
请体谅我，
我不想再失去你。

T.T

before i post it :

I wish :
She would read it,
especially the ITALIC part at the end of blog,
that's what inside my heart and my mind want me to type it out..

...............................................................................................
Monday , Raining , Mood : Very FANN ( sketch,work,homework..)

Event : after dropping her to her Faculty , go back to room , packing , then go class .

Event : during the lecture, wanna bring friend to cut hair, gotta rush,lecture finish at 2 ,
go back take car then will be 2.20 go out.

Event : fucking HTC got problem, cant contact HER, straight go cut hair without informing,
only a msg sent to HER that i will go out , she got lab at that time , no reply .
promised to bring HER along , but i didn't .

Event : ppl that i fetch included a GIRL , that SHE said b4 , in her opinion , is a pretty one,
for me , not me, all our friends , she is just like our brother , I CAN SWEAR!!!!!
I believe that I got no feeling on her and I told everything clearly , SHE just don't
beLIEve me.

Event : I bring them to cut hair , I go Bank settle some money matters, after that , go to
find the cut hair gang , i found a parking after seeking for some rounds , RAINING ,
inside the car , i cal her again after receiving some msg including hers.

Event : during i driving , i got call everyone, my phone signal show no service , no line ,
very pek cek! Dunno how to fix it , restart n times, finally ok, phone can't receive
any msg , after restart only receive those msg , SHE thought my phone no battery.

Event : I hungry , didn't eat breakfast n lunch ,i call her,SHE is sleeping,then she say
just finish LAB,i told her that i will eat McD , SHE say : i thought you say wanna
bring me go ? then i told her wat happen to my phone , then SHE ask who got go , i
mentioned some names , SHE got no response , until i mentioned the 'PRETTY' "GAL"
name, she say : Oh, got bring her go is it? B'cuz bring her go so You DON'T WANT
bring me go la.. I told her the phone thing, SHE say : You don't know how to
borrow phone from friends and call me?? she then off the phone call..

..............................................................................................
Feeling at that moment :

then i msg her ,

i told her that i very upset ,

why everytime also wanna relate my friends ( i mean girls ) to whatever I do that SHE think that is not ok to her...

she ask me not to reply , she don't wanna see doctor and don't wanna eat medicine .

in my opinion, this is not a good example , no matter how u angry , never ever do something that will harm your health , not matured , i am not really like this kind of prerogative..
i told her many many times..

she gimme back my advice,
(T.T)..........
I really very HEART PAIN !!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder ..
Do I need to break up every friendship with every girls ?
Is this The ONly way that will make her TRUST me ?
What happen if i become a gay later ?
...............................................................................................
Currently,
I have to manage my business , my homework , my uni activities , and
I wanna spend time with my sweetheart too..

My heart got you,
You don't know??
I told You THE SECRET before..
so i really wish to stop those stupid thinking..
we LOVE each other.
I am learning to think at your side.
I know you are learning to do the same thing to me too.

what we are doing now is very dangerous ..
remember the SECRET that i told you ,
anything might happen,
just like me,
B'cuz of THE SECRET ,
i managed to earn some glory in Ins. ,
i managed to enter UKM to meet you ,
just like when form 5 in Taman Ehsan ,
we continue in UKM too!!

before i post it :

I wish :
She would read it,
especially the ITALIC part at the end of blog,
that's what inside my heart and my mind want me to type it out..

I LOVE YOU ! ms. Sw33tHeraT =)

人生的第一次。。。。2009的元宵节！！！！My First Time In Zap Goh Meh 2009!!!!

Above photo is for display purpose , non-related to the blog below.

华文版：

今年的元宵节，
受到一位在保险界赤赤有名的前辈朋友的诚邀，
我将会飞往砂劳越的诗巫，
在Great Eastern Branch @ Sibu ,Sarawak 的礼堂，
分享我从进入寿险行业至今的心路过程。。。。
这是我人生的第一次，
当起分享嘉宾，
在一群同行朋友面前讲课，
我希望我会有一至两位在西马的朋友可以和我一起到那里去，
去见识及旅游。。。。
这是一个值得并可以达到我们的梦想的行业，
唯一的条件就是我们肯做我们所学习的，
就是不断有规划的去重复做。。。。
只要你想要，并有规划的努力奋斗，没有东西是不可能的!!!!

或....OR

English Version:

In this coming "Zap Goh Meh" in 2009 ,
I'm glad that I'm invited by a Senior GSM which is also my best buddy as well as my teacher ,
I'm going to Sibu in Sarawak ,
To give a talk bout my life since I first joined Ins. in Great Eastern Branch @ Sibu,Sarawak,
This will be my FIRST TIME in MY LIFE ,
To be a speaker,
In front of my colleagues and friends ,
I wish ONE or TWO of my friends wil follow me to go there ,
To have both vacation and knowing more bout Ins. ,
This is a career that can make our dreams come to reality ,
The only condition is that we MUST APPLY what we LEARNT ,
And PLAN OUR WORK , THEN WORK OUR PLAN ,
As long as u WANT , and WORK YOUR PLAN ,
NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE !!!!

WISH YOU WHO READ THIS BLOG THE BEST OF LUCK IN THIS GOLDEN OX YEAR!!!!

UpDate 第二下。。。。在2009年...

牛年正月初二....凌晨　03:53 am.

收到她的讯息, 前往机场途中发出....
说不完的担忧.... 无奈.... 因无法形容....
王力宏... 她的最爱.... 爱错的旋律.... 环绕耳边....
重复的听....有感觉了....似乎想起了她....
"....我从来没想过
我会这样做
从来没爱过
所以爱错
我从那里起飞
从那里降落...."
是我太多心了？花心？无心？我心里也没答案。。。。我只有假设：
那段时间。。。我从那里起飞，因为空虚与无聊，令我爱错，我从来没想过，
我会这样做，从来没爱过，令我无法专心的她。机会不让我到它，而我也接受了时间与距离的摆布，就这样，我，从那里降落。。。。
“。。。。翻开回忆角落
完美的生活
以为幸福都可以掌握
仔细回味当初那个故事背后
喔原来是我
犯下从没承认的错。。。。”
我无法向任何人告知我内心的痛过，
只拥有那珍贵的三张照片，
收得隐秘，没人看过，
那段时光已过，因该是我，从没把握，让机会错过，造就爱错。。。。
爱错：是因为。。。。 我与她的距离，就如我去中学的距离差不多，但，内心及思想，甚至沟通，无形的距离，我无法掌握，我曾经把机会把握，在她生日，种种方法，我都试过，难关无法通过。。。。
是时候降落，就在我的手机失去了记忆，我也失去了我对她的记忆，失去了联络，
只剩下回忆，到现在。。。。我知道了。。。
仔细回味当初那个故事背后
原来是我
犯下从没承认的错，
造就爱错。
此刻的我，
只想祝福她，
也希望她会以朋友的角度出发，
接受我。

我写blog,除了是响应lee ah kit大师的blogging号召外，
其实也是看了她的blog，才会想写些文字，
希望她会看到。

听着这首歌，也令我想起uncle lim在唱这首歌的时候，
想起了许多人，许多事。。。。
非常感激我的一大班朋友。。。。

我，庄健豪，恭祝各界，牛年心想事成，身体健康，步步高升（虽然高不过我），好运连连，万事如意，平平安安。。。。 笑口常开。
新年快乐！！！！
HappY 牛 YeAR !!!!